Maybe I just wasn't anything special from the start.... I mean your actions and words tell me that I am no longer worth fighting for. I wanna ask you about it... But I just dk what to say. I am just not good w words. I don't know how to have a decent convo w you, Dk how to show that I really care for you, and that you mean smth to me.. But I hope you will realise that this post is dedicated to you, and that no matter how many times I always text you in a way that is so emotionless and w plenty of my attitude in it, but deep down, I treasure this friendship more than you can ever imagine... And that I love you, as a friend. X

Why did I fall for you so hard so deep. ): everything seems so real now. I wish it was real, instead of just acting. I have to constantly remind myself this is not reality. I thought I was over, but the moment you called me baby, everything just came flooding back like that. Those 2 days... It's like I felt genuinely happy after that 1 year. It was like things return back to how it was. I wish it was this way everyday.. Even though I know all those sweet things you said were just jokes, but I thought you would have the decency to actually mean some of it. You postpone the dates again and again... I thought Monday we would finally get to meet. But yet again it WA cancelled. Yes you have valid reasons... But I can't help but feel sooooo disappointed. I am afraid of falling for you harder than I used to. Somewhere within me, I know that you are gonna disappear and leave me hanging there again.. Your gonna have that new girl and I will just be just another girl. Subconsciously, I know that I should stop myself from texting you, from allowing myself to hope and pray that you keep to your words, to even allow you and myself from calling each other darling/baby etc. but yet I can't stop myself. Where's that will power in me, to do those things that are right. I should follow my mind, not my heart. Go on like this I am bound to only fuck myself up even more. I really wonder what is it about you that is so hard to forget. The memories, or is it really just you....

Don't fall for him please. ):

What was I even expecting....
Perhaps I should pull myself out of this shit before it becomes too deep.

The fact that you called up other people, except me... Maybe that actually signifies the importance of me to you.

Sucks to expect so much from someone and ending up with a crap load of disappointment. You make me feel so worthless, like I meant just so little to you, when your words say otherwise. But doesn't action speak louder than words? I don't even know which to believe. Your action or your words. I shouldn't even expect this from you, but yet I can't help it. Can't help but feel that tinge of ache or is it jealousy. I don't know myself too. It's like everyone else just surpasses me in your eyes. K maybe not. But it didn't used to be like that. What more can I expect when I was the one who pushed you away. It's just that... It would have been better if you actually make an effort to try again instead of just not "fighting" for it.. It's actually pretty hurting.

It must feel really nice doesn't it? Having someone who actually loves you unconditionally, timelessly. One who sacrifice so much and be there for you always. Who is willing to do anything and everything just to see you smile. And your the only girl in his eyes, his world. That exist in fairy tales and dramas only huh. Le sigh. I miss that..