How do I breathe.

Watching you walk out of my life, slowly fading away...
There's nothing I could do, I tried my utmost best to hold tight,
Yet you still went out of sight... I could only lay there,
with tears on my face and cry in despair. 

What else could I do. I am prolly useless aren't I? I don't have th guts. I am just a coward. I always let my emotions get th better out of me. I hate myself more than I hate you. And yet I love you more than I love myself. I am prolly th most stupidest or dumbest person on earth. Clinging on to you.

There's a point in my life which, I met you whom I sacrificed everything for, fought hard for, loved and cared for, gave in my all. Yet, there was one thing which I forgotten to do, which was to ask you if you wanted me to. Or even do th same for. 

It's really a difficult task to stop myself from loving you, stop myself from thinking of you, stop myself from caring, stop reminding myself that I can live without you.  But I definitely have to try, bcos it's even worse to bear the pain of knowing that you has never felt the same way as I did.

Ppl actually said that you really loved me when we were tgt. I used t believe that too. But I am starting t doubt it. Because had you really loved me, you wouldn't have gave our relationship up. You wouldn't have left me alone , or let me go through such misery and pain. You wouldn't. You wouldn't even let me drop a single tear.

I am really tired. Of putting this masquerade everyday. Act like I don't give a damn. Really. It's practically killing me inside out. Th distance between us makes it so hard t stay.