Best friends?

Hey bestie, do you really treat me as a best friend? Or isit just for the sake for that name only...? I don't even feel like we're best friends at all. I feel awkward at times when talking to you. I think you do too. We have nth common to talk about nao, when in the past, we could just rant and fool around nonstop. All those laughters and tears... I rather exchange all the tears than having this awkward silence . It really annoys the hell out of me. Best friends are suppose to have fun tgt, but are we? Clearly we aren't at all. Okay truth be told, we don't even act like best friends at all. I know peanuts about your life, and you well, I doubt you know anything at all about mine. Where's that talkative and spontaneous and bubbly person that i once knew? ): I wish we could talk on the phone. I miss you. That 4 minutes that night, it was such a perfect moment.. When everything was like a dream to me.

You told me to get over you, yes. I would try my best. I don't want you to feel tense when talking to me. That's why I act like I gave you up completely when we talk, but this pretence is killing me.. Maybe I am over you. But deep inside I know some part of me is not. I changed my phone password, your contact name.. Everything. To convince myself. I wonder how long it's gonna take to be okay. Yes, that night when you told me the truth, I was sad, I did cried, I admit I did . That's why I replied you late. But I was very happy after that. I thought we would work out after that. Like seriously . Thanks for proving me wrong though. Actually fuck it. It's clearly not your fault. You clarified everything pristine clear that day. So why the fuck am I still expecting so much. You had my good intentions at heart... I really don't know. I guess happy things just doesn't last long. That's prolly a fact . Idk how to even explain how 'm feeling.

Best friend, I wish I can tell you the truth. I wish I can pour everything to you, without hiding anything from you at all. I wish I can tell you how I truly feel. But I know it's impossible . Firstly I do not have the courage and secondly, I don't want to ruin this friendship just like that in my own hands...

Can we return to being how we used to be? Before those shit ruined us and landed up in this state.

Best friend, I love you. X