Moonlight,

Maybe if you were able t look through my eyes, you would understand how I feel. A skip of a heartbeat, and I could feel that wallowing feeling I have every single day, and tears well up in my eyes. But I held back. I need t be strong. For what reason? I have no idea. It just seems like th right thing t do. But it take so much courage and strength t be that strong. In front of ppl, no problem. It's easy t hide my emotions, and fake a smile like 'm happy. Sure everyone is able t do that. But inside only seems t be crumpling. I feel so rotten and jealous inside. I know th right thing t do is t just get over him, move on with my life and save myself all this misery. Yeah I wish I could do that. But can I ? I can't. It's not a choice or an option. It's my life. This is my path. They say 'm just wasting my time. But truth is your worth ALL my time. I told myself time and again that I shouldn't be missing you, or at least stop thinking about you. But this made me only think of you even more. How ironic. But tragically true. I can't not love you. As time passes, it only seems t hit me that what I say in th previous sentence is true. It's like part of you has already etched itself on me. And it will never go away. We used t talk about our future like we had a clue. But I never planned that one day I would be losing you. But I did anyway. There are times when I hallucination about you. Like I would feel my phone vibrating and see your name pop up only t realize th text Never existed in th first place. Or seeing visions of you around me. You made such a great impact in my life. You left me hanging there while you moved on with your life like nothing ever happened. So easy for you t do that huh. Than why can't I? It's so frustrating I thought if I don't see you, than maybe it would not hurt so bad. But I was once again wrong. I couldn't forget you, not even one bit. And that urge t see you is exploding out like never before. It's one whole month since I actually saw you and I don't know if I can keep up much longer. Actually it's great t feel th pain too. It's th only reminder I have that you existed, you used t be mine.There used t be a time where no matter how much we quarrel, we would be okay at 1111. But now everyday I pray at 1111 but nth ever comes out of it. 1111 lost it's magic power ever since you left and many things died along th way. I write a dairy about you everyday and without fail. And maybe if one day you ever read it, I would mono longer be around anymore. I didn't know you would play such a huge part in my life. I wish... Well forget it. You left me a permanent scar that will not heal. Never. Still I have t be strong and live my life. When will I get back that Beautiful smile that I was once so familiar with. When...?